Appearence[]
Gooner X is has the same look as regular 2011X but instead he has slightly darker fur and no visible socks and drawn in a crappier style (on purpose).
A new beginning[]
Oh yea, dis a parody of X By Mr. Doughboy.
It was a quiet night. The player booted up the mysterious file:
SONIC.EXE (TOTALLY SAFE)
The title screen flickered on — Sonic’s eyes glowed bright red… then promptly blinked.
X: “Wait, hang on— do the eyes look scary enough? Maybe add some static. Yeah, static always works.”
He wiggles his fingers dramatically, but the static just turns into the Windows error sound.
The player picked Tails.
Tails wandered through Green Hill Zone, except the flowers were now replaced with… slightly wilted houseplants.
Ominous, but affordable.
Suddenly, the screen flickered, and X appeared.
X: “HELLO… DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH MEEE—”
Trips over a dead flicky.
X (muffled): “Ow. Uh. Shit. Pretend you didn’t see that.”
He reappears, floating dramatically, cape somehow fluttering in a digital breeze that doesn’t exist.
Tails: “Um… why are you wearing a cape?”
X: “Because I’m EVIL. It’s in the job description.”
Tails: “You’re from a platformer, not a Dracula movie.”
X: “Let me have this.”
The game glitches, thunder booms indoors, and a spooky text box appears:
“I AM GOD.”
Then another:
“...well, part-time. Benefits aren’t great.”
Tails: "Damn bro, part time?"
X: 'Domain Expansion: Malevolent Back shots."
The poor fox got diddled and then killed.
Wait, how old is Tails again? Isn't he 8 or smth? Well, I mean Alan is like in his 30s now, so I guess it doesn't count.
Another[]
The player selects Knuckles.
The background music drops two octaves, lightning flashes, and somewhere a MIDI choir sings ominously out of tune.
Knuckles: “Alright. Something’s wrong here. The walls are sweating pixels.”
A faint evil laugh echoes.
X (off-screen): “Heheheh… Hello, Knuckles. Ready to face your doom?”
Knuckles: “Depends. You got rings or what?”
X: “No, I have eternal torment.”
Knuckles: “Cool, cool. Can I punch it?”
X materializes in a puff of dramatic red mist. It smells vaguely like burnt toast.
X: “You can’t punch fear itself!”
Knuckles: “Watch me.” cracks knuckles
They square off. The screen shakes like it’s running on a dial-up connection.
X: “I am beyond time, beyond sanity, beyond—”
Knuckles: uppercuts him mid-monologue
X: “—ow. What the fuck, dude?”
The game glitches, trying desperately to maintain horror ambience. A text box flickers up:
“STOP HITTING ME, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SPOOKY.”
Knuckles: “You talk too much.”
X: “I’m a digital demigod!”
Knuckles: “And I’m a dude who punches rocks.”
The background music gives up and starts playing the Green Hill Zone theme on kazoo.
X: “Okay, fine. You win this round. But I’ll be ba—”
Knuckles: throws a monitor at him
X: Man, fuck you bro.
X proceeded to brutally diddle then kill Knuckles
Um, Eggman join ig?[]
The player chooses Dr. Eggman.
The game loads… slowly. Too slowly. A fake “Windows is updating” bar appears.
“Installing DOOM (spiritual edition) — 99% complete…”
Eggman: “I knew I shouldn’t have downloaded this from ‘totallylegitgames.biz.’”
The screen flickers red, and X appears behind him with the usual thunder sound effect — except it’s a stock one that cuts off halfway.
X: “Hehehe… So, Doctor… we meet at last!”
Eggman: “Yes, yes, very ominous. Do you have any idea how much that lightning effect costs in GPU power?”
X: “I AM THE NIGHTMARE OF CODE ITSELF!”
Eggman: “Mmhmm. And I’m the reason your frame rate dropped to twelve.”
X: "Shut the fuck up"
X: “You cannot stop me. I am eternal.”
Eggman: “Oh really? Because I just installed Norton Antivirus.”
A little pop-up appears: “Threat detected: Sonic.EXE. Quarantined.”
X: “Wait, what? You can’t— hold on—”
Eggman: “Ah! Sweet irony. An evil virus stopped by basic computer hygiene.”
The screen flickers desperately, showing random scary messages:
“I AM GOD.”
“NO ESCAPE.”
“PLEASE TURN OFF CAPS LOCK.”
Eggman sips tea.
Eggman: “You’d think omnipotent evil would proofread.”
X reappears and flips off Eggman before brutally beating him I'm too lazy to describe it, so watch Avengers Infinity war and skip to the part The Hulk gets his ass handed to and pretend it's X and Eggman.
Timeskip lol[]
X eventually wanted to understand human emotions of love (despite he goons) he made EX3-01, it is just an extension of X's self, just like how the guardians are extensions of Lord X, He made her so that he can, 1: Hopefully stop his gooning addiction, 2: To gain more victims and hopefully kill them, and 3: To make a child to continue X's havoc if he were to die. He also got fired for being a dumb shit. So he is an illegal god, this will set up the events of my take of SOULESS.
What the frick is The League of Roba?[]
Well, the League of Roba is a team consisting of Gooner X, his creations/minions, and more creatures.
Guess what?[]
I'm making more variants for Lord X, "Sonic", EXE and Lord Mortis
TRIVA TIME![]
- He likes to watch Family Guy
- He can beat Grug
- Simp for Waluigi
- He if can't reach his goals, he get a j*b
- He hates clankers.
- If he would lock tf in, he could beat Canon X. COULD.
- Rouge the Bat is canon in this universe, she's just his discord kitten trapped in his basement
- He would LOVE if you would comment and follow @BRYSONONVENUS on X/Twitter, just saying, his words.
- Yes, the name implies he does beat his meat.
- PLEASE boost my boys popularity by using #Minnesotanotties on X/Twitter. Please just do it.
- https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LW-gPVjjLDg
Gallery[]
Now, B̵̡̛̝͇̥̏̆́̍̎̅̓͊̊͋̂̈́̏͛È̵̛̫̳̮͕̜̯̟̿͐̐̉̽̐G̷̱̤̯͋̓̽̚͝͝O̸̡̢̧̦͚̝̫̜̻̬̞͍̮͎̩̒̀̍͆͝N̶̝̼͙̻̥̼̠̣̯̣͕̑̏̎͑̂̈́̈́̉ͅȨ̸̺̪̥̗͔͔̰̝̫̘̦͗̈́́͑͂̈̈́.̵͚͒̈͆̈͊̓̑̅̈́̚͠[]
Have a nice day :)