| “ | Sorry Japhet, Kseno couldn't be here today, because he had to piss, so I have to be in his stead. | „ | |
| ― Reapo |
Reapo is the Friday Night Funkin': The Demonic Trinity equivalent of Grimbo and is the second eldest son of Kseno.
The What?[]
Hey, it's me again. So, since this guy is ALSO a joke character, that means that I can be as weird as I want with this page. After all, it is NOT meant to be taken seriously. Much like Sank, or at least, his page, it's going to be as discombobulated as Hybrid. Yeah. We're getting pretty obscure here, aren't we?
Anyway, so, this guy, Reapo, who kind of sounds like he's from Grand Theft Auto (I haven't played any of the games yet), is one of Kseno's many little shits. Like, REALLY little. He's like 3 feet and three inches.
Believe it or not, this guy is a stand-up comedian, as he is a random yet funny guy. You know, like Caddicarus, or the Microwave Society!
Appearance[]
He greatly resembles his father's Candor form, except he has white eyes like Herobrine, looks a LOT less ugly (that's because the lines in the artwork are much thinner, as I HATED how thick Kseno's lines originally were.)
He also wears a large intestine around his neck as a scarf and has a scar on his chest that resembles the letter "R", is fatter (or I guess you could say that he has a rounder torso, because he's kind of insecure about his weight, like George R. R. Martin)
He also has shorter legs and arms and wears gray boots.
Also, I got to piss and shower. I'll be right back.
The Tale[]
Okay, I'm back.
Oh yeah, let's get straight to the point.
So, Reapo was born shortly after Kseno pissed on some random dude's grave. I'm not fucking kidding.
Shortly after that, Kseno got "pregnant." Okay, not really, because he's like a fucking bacterium that reproduces asexually, but catch my... Sonic Drift, right? Get it? It's because it's a racing game from God knows how long ago.
Anyway, so, Kseno- OH MY GOD, shut up! Sorry, my son- OH I'M SORRY, my CAT, Rory, tends to meow a lot, and NO, I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH A FEMALE CAT. By the way, did you know that a female cat is called a "queen?" (Sometimes a molly, if sprayed, oh, I'm sorry, I meant spayed.) Besides, I don't have a desire to FUCK cats. That's just FUCKING DISGUSTING AND WEIRD! Besides, my semen would have DIED instantly! That's disgusting. I apologize. Also, I call Rory my "son" because he has brown fur, and I have brown hair (well, it's dark brown, but close enough). In other words, NOBODY WANTS TO FUCK A CAT.
Anyway, before I was RUDELY interrupted by my son (yeah, I know I'm weird, I embrace it), I was going to say that Kseno got "pregnant" in the sense that a bacterium reproduces. I meant to say that Kseno reproduced before I went on that weird tangent about how nobody wants to fuck cats. That was single-handedly the most fucked-up joke I have ever made. Period.
Anyway, so Kseno reproduced after pissing on a random guy's grave, and thus, Reapo was born!
Also, my son just meowed again as I wrote this. God, I am such an incel. I'm the fucking definition of an incel. I swear to God, if you look up the word in a dictionary, you'll just see a picture of me in there.
Seventeen years later, Reapo, who suffered MUCH LESS abuse than Sank, was brought by Kseno into the woods. You know? Like the song that is on that Alvin and the Chipmunks record that MY PARENTS PUT ON EVERY SINGLE FUCKING YEAR AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL!!!
I mean, come on! An Alvin and the Chipmunks record?!? They got an Alvin and the Chipmunks record?!? They had the BALLS to bring their FILTH into my lair?!? NOOO!! NOOOOO!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE, THAT'S INSANE- <Yells angry gibberish while being restrained by a guy in a white coat>
Twenty minutes later...
I apologize for that childish and immature outrage. I just get fucking pissed when I hear... AN Alvin and the Chipmunks RECORD?!? YOU BASTARDS!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!!! ALL OF YOU WILL FUCKING DIE, YOU'LL GET THE FUCKING GAS--
One hour later...
RAPE MY EARS, WILL YOU?!? YOU'LL ALL DIE!!! YOU WILL ALL FUCKING DIE--
Seven hours later...
Okay, I'm good. Yeah, I had to steal that Nostalgia Critic joke, but whatever. ANYWAY... Back to the story... So, during the Very Sluggish Erect remix (I think it was originally supposed to be Phoinos, but that's another story for another day), Reapo had to be there, because Kseno at that time has to piss somewhere in the forest, as his bathroom had a bit of a problem and the plumber was fixing it (yeah, he has a plumber that he teleports to Tengoku when his pipe-related shit goes wrong), so he and Reapo had no choice but to go the forest, but, Kseno also wanted to confront Japhet (yeah, he's that alternate universe version of that blue-haired bastard named Boyfriend), so he sent Reapo to battle Japhet.
After Japhet kicked his ass several times over, Reapo ran away deeper into the forest, curled up into a ball (it's just Sonic's version of the fetal position, you know, the pose that you do when you see that one SCP) and bawled his fucking eyes out over his defeat, leaving Phoinos (he wasn't from around here) to continue the week in the You can't escape me Erect remix.
That's it. Honestly, this tale might as well be its own fucking page at this point due to how long it is.
Personality[]
We decided to keep you here for another 50 CYCLES! WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL! WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL! WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL! WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL! WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!
Okay, guys, I'm back from my long fucking sleep. So, as I said earlier, Reapo is a random, yet funny guy, essentially Gen Z humor if it were a person. He's also kind of insecure about his looks. Alright, once I get back from shitting, I'll tell you about what he is capable of in terms of powers.
Potential[]
- Shapeshifting: Alright, I'm back from a smelly shit, and now I'll tell you what he is capable of. He can change his shape, size, color, density, texture, cellular composition, and/or atomic composition to mimic qualities, impersonate entities, amplify abilities, and/or traverse environments.
- Flight: He possesses the ability to fly or achieve independent movement in a gaseous atmosphere or vacuum.
- Levitation: It's just a passive version of flight. He can make himself or other subjects hover unassisted, allowing them to float into the air and preventing them from touching the ground below.
- Programming Manipulation: He can directly interact with the software/programming in a device or devices to change their pattern of behavior or take control of them.
- Immortality: He has the power/ability to exist eternally without succumbing to age, disease, or fatal injury, rendering him functionally undying and unaging. Yes, "unaging" is a word, trust me, I checked.
- Resurrection: He can bring himself and others back to life. This ability is also one of the reasons that Reapo can't die.
- Reality Warping: "Reality can be whatever I want." Thanos summed up that power perfectly. Reality warping is the ability to alter, create, or even destroy parts of, or the entirety of, reality.
- Fire Manipulation: Yeah, he's an arsonist. Arson just runs in the family. He can manipulate, shape, and control fire, which results from a rapid oxidation process that releases heat, light, and reaction by-products like smoke, soot, and ash.
- Electricity Manipulation: UNLIMITED POWER!!! He can shape, create, direct, and possess complete control over electricity, a form of energy resulting from the movement of charged particles such as electrons or protons.
- Programming Mastery: He is an innate master of programming, software development, and coding. He possesses great knowledge in creating instructions for computers to follow.
- Cartoon Physics: Logic is STILL for pussies. He can operate under the whimsical and exaggerated rules of animated worlds, replacing reality's shitty, rigid laws with those dictated by humor, creativity, and absurdity.
- Elastic Neck: Ever heard of the rokurokubi? Well, he's like that. He is capable of stretching his neck to great lengths.
- Neck Manipulation: He can manipulate his neck and the necks of others if he wants.
- 360-Degree Neck Rotation: He can see in any direction by rotating his neck and turning his head at any angle he wants.
- Prehensile Neck: He can make his neck move independently, allowing his neck to function almost like an additional limb.
- Neck Destruction: FINISH HIM! He can easily damage or destroy the neck or any part of the neck, such as the throat, esophagus, etc., usually killing his target.
- Bone Manipulation: I couldn't resist adding this power. My father always told me that Kseno had WAY TOO MANY powers. He can create, shape, move, control, interact, and manipulate bones, a rigid tissue that constitutes part of the vertebrate skeleton in animals, of himself and others.
- Flashbang Generation: FLASHBANG, BITCH! Yes, flashbang is a word, Firefox. You don't have to tell me that it's not. (The joke is that I'm using Firefox.) Anyway, he can create a flashbang that nullifies the senses of others, rendering them unable to coordinate their movements and unable to see or hear for a short time.
- Limb Extension: He can stretch his limbs (arms, legs, neck, torso, etc.) to great lengths.
- Limb Manipulation: He can manipulate the limbs (arms, legs, tail, etc.) of himself and/or others.
- Limb Expansion: He can expand his limbs (arms, legs, neck, etc.) to great sizes, allowing for increased reach and damage.
- Deoxygenation: For the last time, Firefox, deoxygenation IS a word! He can erase the oxygen from the surrounding environment, causing a respiring organism to choke and even go into cardiac arrest. <Insert that clip of Caddy having cardiac arrest here.>
- Anger Empowerment: He becomes stronger, faster, more durable, etc., through anger/rage, whether his own or others, possibly unlocking abilities related to the affinity and enhancing his existing powers, and as a bonus, he can suppress pain to great lengths. Okay, I SWEAR TO GOD, this is the last one. NO MORE. NEVERMORE!
Trivia[]
- He originally wore Corpse Tails' tails, but that was scrapped because it contradicted the lore (Corpse Tails still has his tails).
- His name is Reapo, not because it sounds like a gangster, but rather, he is named after the Grim Reaper. <Insert that one meme where that guy says "IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER?!?" here>
- His chest scar originally formed the letter "S", but my dumbass eventually became... Less of a dumbass and realized that he's Reapo, NOT SANK! So, I corrected it.
- I briefly considered having Reapo born in 1994.
- He was supposed to be Lawful Evil. That didn't last long, as he feels more like a loyal son than an evil tyrant.
Gallery[]
